purse, place it on the table, and despite it’s loud, screeching protests, paint said pig’s nails/hooves/whatever they’re called. The stunned waiter calmly told her pets aren’t allowed in the restaurant, and pointed to the sign on the nearby front door that she recently walked through, which clearly spelled out that rule. She simply said “oh, he’s not a pet” and continued her painting, never even looking up at the waiter. He again tried to reason with her and said in the same calm voice “I’m not sure what you call a pig in a purse, be it a pet, animal, or what-not, but we don’t allow such animals in our establishment”. This set her off. She placed the pig, wet nail polish and all, back in her purse, stood eye to eye with the waiter, and yelled “But SHE has a dog and you never kick her out! This is discrimination! You can’t kick out a service animal!” while pointing at me. Again, calmly, he responded “That dog laying quietly on the floor is a legally protected service animal. According to the law, purse-dwelling, loudly-screeching pigs aren’t considered service animals. I’m going to have to ask you to remove the animal from this establishment”. She moved even closer to his face and screamed “but he IS a service animal! I’m not leaving!” and sat back down at the table, and folded her arms in front of her. Now, this particular waiter is pretty well versed in the ADA laws governing service animals. So, he calmly asked her “What service does your service animal provide for you?” to which she responded “it calms me down when I paint his nails. You can’t kick me out”. The waiter turned and walked to the back, and came back about a minute later with a stack of papers in his hand, and a highlighter. He thumbed through them and highlighted a few things, handed the papers to the girl and said “according to the laws you claim to be covered by, first, pigs aren’t considered service animals. Second, the service you describe that your pig provides to you isn’t covered by the law. Third, your pig has caused a disruption in this establishment by screeching, so even if it was a protected service animal, I could still ask you to remove it. Fourth, that dog over there IS a service animal, protected under these laws, but I wouldn’t hesitate to have that service animal removed from here if she caused a disturbance. And last, you’re not welcome here anymore. That’s not discrimination. Please leave”. She stood, and stomped out of the restaurant, but not before telling me I was a disgrace for “faking a disability just so I could bring my filthy dog wherever I please”.